New South Wales
Northern Territory
Queensland
South Australia
Tasmania
Victoria
Western Australia
North Island
South Island

5 Reasons NOT To Visit Australia

Catherine Atton
September 6, 2017

1. Beaches will no longer impress you

via GIPHY

Australia is brimming with beautiful beaches including Bondi, Whitehaven and drum roll please... world recordbreaker for the 'whitest sand' Hyams Beach. No other beach will EVER compare.

2. You'll become a fan of big rocks

via GIPHY

One thing that Australia does well is big rocks. In particular, a massive sandstone monolith in the heart of the "Red Centre" known as Uluru. Over 550 million years old and sacred to Australia's Aboriginal culture, this rock means business.

3. Every coffee you drink hereafter will taste like mud

via GIPHY

Melbourne's coffee culture is NEXT LEVEL. With over 1,600 cafes in the city alone and world champion baristas on every corner (literally) your skinny, soy, mocha, roasted from a Colombian blend won't come in short supply. It has a fab cafe culture that will make you think twice before brewing a cup of instant muck.

4. You'll make 'professional mermaid' your next job title

via GIPHY

Home to one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, the Great Barrier Reef is an aquatic dream. With plenty of scuba diving, snorkelling and sailing trips to take your fancy, you'll never want to leave those crystal clear waters! And inevitably, think that you genuinely could spend the rest of your life under the sea.

5. You won't be able to look at an avocado without smashing it

via GIPHY

'Smashed avo' is surprisingly (or rather unsurprisingly) an Australian delicacy. For the rest of us normal people it's mushy avocado on toast. But don't let that fool you, the Aussie Breakkie is a thing true of beauty, from Asian-infusion style dishes like chilli scrambled eggs at Sir, Charles in Fitzroy to smoked salmon & cream cheese bagels at Manchester Press in Melbourne's CBD. You won't be going hungry.

If you don't want to become a professional mermaid, never again enjoy an instant cup of coffee or become a fan of big rocks, then don't go to Australia, we repeat: DO NOT GO TO AUSTRALIA. Otherwise, sure why the hell not?!

AUTHOR PROFILE
Catherine Atton

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related Posts

Postcard Perfect Port Douglas

With an enduring allure that attracts sea-changers, holidaymakers and backpackers alike, it's no surprise that Port Douglas secured the second spot in 2022's Top 50 Australian Towns.

BOOK & GO. PLANT & GROW.

We're for what's next - which includes the future of our beautiful planet.

5 Surprises From My Year In Australia

Graduating soon means looking back at all these crazy times, and if there’s one thing I learned from my year here, it’s that planning (and not planning) trips in Australia doesn’t leave you any less vulnerable to the sometimes scary, sometimes funny, but ultimately remarkable surprises you’ll get here.

4 Reasons the NT is an Animal Lovers Dream

From camel rides, to jumping crocs, spectacular birdlife and bouncing kangaroos plus a vast array of rich marine life, the Northern Territory is an animal lover's dream!

Top Cultural Experiences in the Northern Territory

We've narrowed down our top cultural experiences in the NT - so you can experience the magic for yourself!

Make a splash this summer in the NT

Enjoy this quick guide to navigating a tropical summer in the top end of the NT and discover what makes this time so waterfall...I mean, wonderful.

Social Media

Accepted Payments

Members of

chevron-down