“Never miss an opportunity to make memories” – a piece of advice given to me by a friend a few years ago. This single sentence opened up my life. After completing a 2 year contract in IndiaI decided to spend a few months travelling before heading home to New Zealand.
Travelling solo is not my preferred modus operandi. I’m a sociable introvert, who prefers the company of good friends to intrepid adventures, although if I can combine the two I’m delighted. Randomly browsing through a Lonely Planet guide while waiting for a friend, I was suddenly gripped by a desire to extend a two month trip to Europe visiting friends to a four month journey exploringTurkeyandEastern Europe.
My trip could not have got off to a better start. A lovely Italian man invited me to go to a Turkish bath house then treated me out to dinner at a seaside restaurant. The next morning we breakfasted at theIstanbul’s Egyptian Spice market then sat inSultanahmet Squareenjoying a Turkish coffee. A hasty farewell when my Italian friend realised he was about to miss his flight left me smiling – the delight and the ease of both hellos and farewells, the anticipation of two months full of chance encounters. I felt open to a world of possibilities.
A few hours later I was sitting by the sea feeling vulnerable and hurt having been duped by an elderly Turkish man who had offered to show me around. Despite earlier protestations that he would never expect money and he was merely visitingIstanbulfor a few days himself, he later demanded a large sum and became unpleasantly aggressive. It feels foolish now, and I’m shocked at my own naivety, but the touts inIstanbulare pros and I was easy game. Retrospectively, both the Italian traveler and the Turkish con artist provided a valuable initiation into the delicate balance that is travelling as a solo female – saying yes to possibilities while keeping yourself safe along the way. After my rollercoaster start I set off fromIstanbulon an incredible 2 month journey rich in great experiences, delightful people, fabulous food and fascinating lessons in life and local history.
Travelling on your own, particularly when you’re not a 20-something party animal does have its challenges, but I’d recommend it in an instant. For those thinking of giving it a go, here’s a few tips to consider:
1. Cultivate traveller’s intuition –learn how to listen to your instincts. This isn’t just about heeding warning signs when a situation seems to be turning negative, although that’s certainly part of it. There’s a hugely positive side to intuition –hearing about a place that captivates your imagination, listening to whims and possibilities. If you have a hankering to get somewhere or see something, follow it through. Walking the Lycian trail inTurkeyand visiting the Marmarus region ofRomaniaboth sounded like challenging places to negotiate on my own. They became the highlights of my trip.
2. Develop strategies to manage the down days. ‘Blah days’ are inevitable when you’re backpacking, whether it’s a dose of travelers fatigue or simply an overdose of rowdy British Eurail travelers at the hostel. Whenever I hit a low I took a ‘day off’ and found my way to a lovely café, a book store and a music store, deliberately avoiding anything touristy. These days became days I relished.
3. Plan an adventure and invite someone along. I feel grateful towards the many people who invited me to join them on their day trips or to dinners at quaint restaurants. Play your own part by picking up a stray at the hostel and asking them to join you on an adventure for a day.
4. Learn the art of being a nobody. This can take some time! At the start of my travels I felt some trepidation – who am I without my friends, my job, my extended network? Am I even interesting to talk to? The great things is, the main thing travelers are interested in talking about is (no surprises here) travelling. Conversations tend to be about where, when and now. It’s easy to be a listener and you’ll soon build up a store of your own stories. When someone got too pretentious I enjoyed dropping into the conversation that I’d spent the past two years inIndia(Indiaequals big points in travel circles apparently). Generally I loved hearing about the different places people get to and the different ways they got there. There are some incredible travelers out there!
5. Throw away preconceptions about age. If you’re in your thirties, you need to accept that most of the people you will be hanging out with will be less than 27. This was occasionally frustrating, but only rarely. In the end you are as young as you feel and I love being thirty-something. Don’t underestimate how engaging and refreshing it can be to talk with an enthusiastic 18 year old. Special mention must, however, go to Murray, an octogenarian West Aucklander travelling throughCappadocia, who was one of the loveliest conversationalists I met along the way.
6. Do some research. I know the old Lonely Planet guide is not the be all and end all of travel guides, and I like to leave plenty if room for ‘hapenstance’, but gosh those maps and accommodation guides can come in handy! Try arriving inTransylvaniain a thunderstorm at midnight without a map to get you to your hostel (and in my case, thankfully, a small group of travelers heading in the same direction). I like to slice my Lonely Planet up so that I can carry a few pages around with me. The ‘dangers and annoyances’ sections are worth perusing and reading about places to visit can be tantalizing. There are also excellent online travel forums where you can get ideas and advice.
7. Think about having an ‘I want out’ option. It is possible that you won’t enjoy yourself as much as you’d hoped. After two months on the trail my funds were getting low and I was becoming blasé about seeing new places. It was lovely to hop on a train toViennaand spend a few days with a close friend. Don’t become a travelling martyr! It’s your trip and you can end it when you want.
Now that I’m back inNew ZealandI have banned myself for looking too closely at travel books for a year. I’ll need a bit more money in the bank before I can head off again, although I’m keen to give couch surfing a go. In the meantime, I have a lovely store of memories to draw upon and the knowledge than an adventure is sometimes only a ‘yes’ away.
